5 friends were planning to hangout but they don't know where to go “OH, we should go to the circus” said Jeff “okay, but we should go at night because it's better” said Alice. They all agreed to go to the circus at night. The friends were planning to meet each other at Alice's house. They all met up at 6:00pm at Alice's house then got an uber to the circus, no uber showed up but a 1978 car showed up they all were weirded out cause they never seen a car like that in real life, but they got in anyway. 3 minutes later they were on the road to the circus and all their technology disappeared into the air “uh… guys where is my phone?” said Becka confusingly. “OMG WHERE IS MY PHONE?!?” shouted annie. They arrived at the circus and a clown came running to them. “OMG I HATE CLOWNS!!” said james “WElCOME tO ThE CiRcuS *heheh*” said the clown “okay?” said Jeff “ThEre Are DolLs, FoOD, ClOWnS, A ForTune TeLlEr aND mOrE *hehEHEHEhEHE*” said the clown freakley. They walked into the circus and saw colorful lights, people laughing, kids running around and big circus tents. They all planned to go get food first then go see the BIG show. They all walked to the concession stands and brought some Pretzels and some popcorn.
They got their food and went to the show. As they sat down and waited for the show to happen they got a weird feeling that something bad is going to happen. The lights turned off and it was pitch black “WELCOME TO THE SHOW” shouted the speaker, The lights FLASHED! And everyone was dizzy except for the 5 friends. “GUYS? Y’ALL THERE?” said Annie
“YEAH BUT JAMES IS GONE-” said Alice
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” shouted James
“HELP GUYS” he shouted, they all ran outside to see what happened and James was nowhere to be seen, but a little note on the ground saying “plan: kill all” “OMG OMG OM-” said Becka as she got snatched. “WHAT IS HAPPENING!, SHOULD WE LEAVE OR SAVE THEM?” said Jeff.
“UH, SAVE THEM OF COURSE THEY ARE OUR FRIENDS” said Annie. They all split up to go and find James and Becka.
ALICE SCREAMS “OMG- GUYS AHHHHHHHHHH”
“ALICE??” Jeff shouted
“oh no she's gone too” said Jeff both got captured “AHHHHHH” yelled Jeff and Annie. They all ended up tied to a carousel “OMG- GUYS?” yelled Becka “I’M GOING TO ROLL THE DICE OF DEATH AND THE NUMBER THAT IT LANDS ON IS GOING TO DIE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW” shouted the clown. The clown rolled the dice of death and the number it landed on is ‘3’ “OO THIS IS A GOOD SHOW HAHAHAHAHAHA” laughed the clown “YOU-” said the clown
“UH... GUYS” said Annie
“HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE THE ONE-” said the clown. The clown grabbed her gun and SHOT her in the heart “AH-” said Annie as she fell on the floor “AHHHH OMG- ANNIE” said Jeff
“SO ANYONE ELSE WANNA DIE??” said the clown
“UH… NO WHY WOULD WE WANT TO-” said Becka
“OHH SO YOU WANNA GIVE ME ATTITUDE??” said the clown.
Someone with their motorcycle came crashing in the circus SHOOTING the clowns then untying the 4 friends “HURRY COME WITH ME” said the masked person. They all followed the person to a safe house “uh why are we trusting him?” said James “he killed the clowns who KILLED our friend, so yes we have to trust him” said Becka, they all walked into a room with 4 other people
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My class's feedback (there words not mine…😌)
Heaps of dialogue.
A lot of speech marks.
Make quite a lot of sense.
Full Stops in the right places.
Capital letters in right places.
Heaps of words.
Heaps of similes.
Break up the sentences.
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